"O" is for overshare

When you have a platform from which you can share all of the minutiae of your life with anyone who wants to read it, there's always the temptation to overshare. It's just there. And I think I am falling into that temptation with this post, so I will go ahead and warn you: if you have any problems with reading about bodily fluids or things that are of a womanly nature, you probably want to stop reading HERE.

You've been warned now.

So, since I got back from Africa, Todd and I have opened ourselves up to the possibility of having children. Which basically means that I went off birth control. And that was over a month ago. Notice I said over a month ago. And nothing regular has happened since then, but my body has been feeling all sorts of strange, and I've been an emotional rollercoaster, and I've realized just how much that tiny little pill regulated my body for 10 years.

So, since nothing regular has happened, I decided I should probably take a pregnancy test, just to be sure.

And ladies, I am here to tell you that peeing on a stick is not easy. Seriously. Take the difficulty of peeing in a cup and multiply it by oh, 175. Because as we all know, a woman's urine stream is not predictable. For a man, he can just point and shoot, and it pretty much goes wherever he aims. Not for a woman. It can start off one way, and then all of a sudden, it's like a gust of wind just sweeps through the toilet bowl and sends it in an entirely different direction.

And here's the thing, the instructions of the pregnancy test say that you need to hold that stick in your stream for exactly five seconds--no more, no less--because if you get too much or too little on the stick it can cause a false reading. What the...? Sorry, but when your pee stream is as unpredictable as Sarah Palin on crack, how are you supposed to make that happen? I don't know about you, but I am definitely not that coordinated. If I meet a woman who can follow those instructions exactly, I will shake her hand (after, of course, she has washed it). Who knew that peeing would be the most stressful part of the whole pregnancy test experience?

All I can say is, thank God that Todd was not awake for all of that, or he most certainly would have been making fun of me the entire time. In a loving way, of course.

So, there you have it...my total overshare. I feel better now, having gotten it out of my system.



What--you were wondering about the results of the test? Hmmmmm....