Bumpers needed

Most people who know me well are quite aware that I am a Grade-A, certified, card-carrying klutz. If there is a puddle, I will step in it, if there is a curb, I will trip over it, if there is a sharp object around, I will hurt myself on it. If I go to a party at someone's house, I would much rather drink my wine out of a plastic cup instead of one of their nice wine glasses, because, hey, it's just safer.

Most of my friends are also aware that, earlier this year, a simple trip to the bathroom almost ended in a concussion when--in my half-asleep stupor--I leaned over to make sure that the toilet seat was in the correct position and inadvertently crammed my head on the windowsill. And I mean HARD. Hard enough to see so many stars that I could point out recognizable constellations. I also think my eyes were slightly crossed for a few days.

And just when I began thinking that the bathroom was safe again, I discovered I was wrong. Last night, I was giving myself a pedicure, perched on the edge of the toilet seat with my foot propped up, when I dropped one of the little filing tools. I bent over to pick it up, and WHAM! Hello, head, meet sink. Yes, I crammed my head again, this time on the edge of the porcelain sink. I am surprised I didn't crack it (and by "it" I really mean both my head and the sink).

So, now I have a nice little pump-knot on my head that will probably be a lovely shade of blue and green just in time for our faculty/staff Christmas party. Woo-hoo!

I seriously need to put bumpers on everything in my house.