or, "Holiday seasonal things I could do without."
1. Stations that play all Christmas music, all the time. I like "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" as much as the next guy, but I could do without hearing it 1,372 times in one day.
2. Holiday sale commercials that play over and over and over... You know what I'm talking about--it's that Sears/JC Penney/etc. ad that comes on EVERY SINGLE TIME the show you are watching goes to commercial...sometimes even twice in one break. It's maddening, and it is the one thing that might actually cause me to break down and get TiVo.
3. Chia-everything. Where do these things go the rest of the year? You almost never hear anything about Chia until it's time for the holidays, and then they are all over the place. Chia-donkeys, Chia-alligators, Chia-dinosaurs. Does anyone actually collect these things, or do they just get recycled as Dirty Santa gifts from year to year? Although, did you know that they released a limited-edition Chia-Mr. T head in 2000? I totally want that. Added bonus: Chia also has that completely annoying jingle that gets stuck in your head...you're thinking it now, aren't you? Ch...ch...ch...chia!
4. Malls. I am avoiding them this year. I really hate malls around the holidays...the parking nightmares, the crowds, the rude, stressed-out people, the insanely messy piles of clothes (that you know were nicely folded when the store opened, but end up looking like someone ran and jumped in them like a kid in a big pile of leaves), the idiots who jump line in front of me when I'm just trying to get a soft pretzel...the list could go on and on. It is insanity, and it doesn't surprise me to see news stories this time of year about someone who looses it and beats a fellow shopper over the head with the latest Tickle-Me/Dance-With-Me/Do-Whatever-You-Want-to-Me version of Elmo.
5. Shopping for holiday presents in general. Don't get me wrong--I love the act of giving. I get high off of the feeling of finding that absolutely perfect gift for someone that you know he/she will love. I just don't like the pressure of trying to do that for everyone I know, all at the same time. And yes, I realize that I could start in January and collect things throughout the year as I find them, but I just don't work that way. If I find something absolutely fabulous for someone that I am so excited to give them, I can only hold off for a week, tops, before I break down and just give it to them early. I've ruined a lot of Todd's birthdays/holidays this way, because I. JUST. CAN'T. WAIT. So, he might get his Christmas gift on Dec. 25th, or he might get it on Dec. 17th. It just happens.
Those are just a few things off the top of my head--anyone have something to add to the list?
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3 comments:
I can't stand the War on Christmas people. Why is saying "Happy Holidays" so offensive?
These people don't get to start complaining until the tree disappears from Rockefeller Center, until I stop seeing Santa hats everywhere, and until mall Santas everywhere unite against the oppression of sticky, crying children.
That said, I could do with some more egg nog.
Nothing to add, except that I can't stop giggling at the idea of "Do-Whatever-You-Want-To-Me Elmo." I'm picturing Elmo dressed up in a lace teddy and garters. So wrong, but SO funny.
K- I keep trying to acquire a taste for egg nog, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe I just haven't spiked it enough...and maybe that could help me deal with some of the frustrations of the season a little better!
M- That is so very wrong. Of course, I was picturing that you'd pull a string and he'd say "How you doin'" like Joey on Friends, except in his high-pitched Elmo voice. That's also disturbing.
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