Yes, I know.
On Friday, I promised something that I have not yet delivered. I said that I would post 10 memories from my first decade of life, 10 from the second, and 10 from the third. And what do you see below you? Just 20 memories. And then they stop.
Does that mean that I can't remember much between the ages of 20 and 30? Of course not--those memories should be even more salient to me than the earlier ones (and even though I discovered alcohol in college, I didn't drink THAT much).
It's just that, when I approach the decade of my twenties, there's this period of time that sticks out like a sore thumb. I thought about glossing over it and just picking memories from the early and late twenties, but that 2-3 year stretch in the middle just stares at me like, "uh-uh...no way you can deal with this decade and avoid me." So I continued to sit on those memories from my teens, staring out into my past future, paralyzed.
There were a lot of amazing times in my twenties: the last couple of years at Vandy, a summer of living and working in New York, a backpacking trip through France and Italy, my first job, serving as a volunteer youth leader, working at camps, buying my first home, girls' weekends in Colorado, etc. It would be easy to focus solely on those experiences.
But it also wouldn't seem fair. I could pretend that there were no skeletons in my closet, no demons in my past...but it wouldn't make them go away.
In my twenties, I got married. Perhaps it happened a little too quickly, but I can't use that as an excuse, because I knew full well what marriage meant and what I was committing myself to. But not long after I said I do, I decided in my selfishness that I really didn't. So I checked out. And I treated my husband horribly in the hopes that he would just agree to divorce me.
Remember when I said that divorce isn't ever pretty? Well, it wasn't. And during that period of time, I discovered the absolute ugliest side of me--a side that I never knew existed--a side that I wished couldn't belong to me. When I look back, I think, "Was that really me? That couldn't have been me. That is so not me." And yet it was. I morphed into someone who had absolutely no concern for anyone else's feelings but my own. I lied to everyone, including myself. And I hurt a lot of people. A lot of people who loved me. And a lot of people that I loved.
And now, years later, I recognize that it is past and I can't do anything to change it. I know that God and friends and family have all forgiven me, and I continue to work on forgiving myself. And I know that there will probably be a few people who read this and think, "Good lord, let it GO already. Sheesh." I know. And I try. But at the same time, I think there is an element of that experience that I will carry around with me for the rest of my life. And maybe I should. Maybe those memories should haunt me, so that I remember how far I can fall, and keep me vigil so that I never become that person again.
So there you go. Who knew you were going to get such a raw journal entry for the third installment of my series? I certainly didn't when I started this thing. I promise to keep the next post a little lighter (and not as excruciatingly long as the past few have been).
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Light the corners of my mind
On to that second decade of life--and what a rich decade it was, with so much material to choose from. The hard part here is going to be narrowing down those memories to a mere ten.
1. My parents divorced when I was ten. I have many vivid memories from that time: the night that the rose-colored glasses shattered, and I suddenly realized that my parents weren't happily married...the first time that I saw my father cry...breaking down into tears in the middle of my 5th grade class as I was trying to process what was happening. I won't go into all of the details that I remember, because, well, divorce isn't pretty. It just never is. (I thought I'd get the heavy one over with first.)
2. I remember being teased mercilessly by other girls in the locker room when I got my first training bra in 7th grade. "Why are you wearing that--you don't need a bra." "Are you just trying to cover up how flat you are?" "You probably just got one 'cause some of us did." Yeah, I think this one falls under the category of "If they could see me now..."
3. I was so happy to change schools after 7th grade. At BBS, I was an enormous nerd. Braces, permed hair, puff-paint t-shirts, awkwardly tall and lanky, teacher's kid. I was the girl that was only "popular" in the sense that everyone else wanted to copy my homework. I was so ready to get out of there, and to have the opportunity to transform myself into someone new.
4. I adored high school. No really, I LOVED it. I know a lot of people who would rather forget their high school experience, but I think of it fondly. I loved the school, I loved the teachers, and I had a phenomenal group of close friends. That's probably more of a fact than a memory--but so many memories from my teenage years are tied to that school and those friends.
5. In my high school biology class, we had to dissect fetal pigs. I remember having to crack open my little baby pig's mouth and break his jaw. This experiment also inspired my first step toward vegetarianism. I would go to the lunchroom after class and see the ham that they were serving, and all I could smell was formaldehyde. No pork products for me after that.
6. I had four wrecks between the ages of 16 and 18. The worst was the last one--a head-on collision that completely totaled my Ford Escort. I had just met a friend at Big River Grille for dinner, and since I wasn't too hungry, I ordered the soft pretzel appetizer as my meal. After the crash, I remember thinking, "Man, that really would have sucked if my last meal on earth had been a couple of pretzels."
7. For one of my birthday parties, we rented out the clubhouse at my dad's apartments and had a big bash. We actually got the cops called on us, because we were having a particularly heated game of "testosterone vs. estrogen" volleyball. Not sure why, but our group of friends did a lot of group activities like that--"testosterone vs. estrogen". Probably because we were dorks.
8. Destin was a very popular vacation destination for Baylor-ites. One one trip (not sure if it was sophomore or senior year), a few of us were really stupid with the sunscreen. Two of my friends positively fried the tops of their feet and could barely wear shoes, and I managed to put sunscreen on my stomach and back, but missed my sides. For almost 4 years, the skin on my sides was darker than the skin on my front and back. It looked like I had a skin disease.
9. My freshman year at Vandy, three of my friends and I drove down to Sewanee for Fall Party Weekend. I realized what a crazy weekend it would be as soon as we walked into the ATO house and saw a parent--not a student-- hanging from the rafters. Lots of other memories from that weekend, but I'll keep those to myself.
10. I got my first tattoo when I was 18, at TJ's Tattoos in Chattanooga. It didn't hurt as much as I expected it to--I equated it to an extended bee sting. My parents had no clue, and I tried to keep it hidden. I succeeded until my mom walked into the bathroom one day when I wasn't completely dressed and spotted it. She said, "You realize that's permanent, right?" And I said, "Yes." And that was that. It went much better than I anticipated.
As I am going back and reading these, I am thinking that I need to go through some of my old albums and see if I can't find some pictures to accompany these memories...
1. My parents divorced when I was ten. I have many vivid memories from that time: the night that the rose-colored glasses shattered, and I suddenly realized that my parents weren't happily married...the first time that I saw my father cry...breaking down into tears in the middle of my 5th grade class as I was trying to process what was happening. I won't go into all of the details that I remember, because, well, divorce isn't pretty. It just never is. (I thought I'd get the heavy one over with first.)
2. I remember being teased mercilessly by other girls in the locker room when I got my first training bra in 7th grade. "Why are you wearing that--you don't need a bra." "Are you just trying to cover up how flat you are?" "You probably just got one 'cause some of us did." Yeah, I think this one falls under the category of "If they could see me now..."
3. I was so happy to change schools after 7th grade. At BBS, I was an enormous nerd. Braces, permed hair, puff-paint t-shirts, awkwardly tall and lanky, teacher's kid. I was the girl that was only "popular" in the sense that everyone else wanted to copy my homework. I was so ready to get out of there, and to have the opportunity to transform myself into someone new.
4. I adored high school. No really, I LOVED it. I know a lot of people who would rather forget their high school experience, but I think of it fondly. I loved the school, I loved the teachers, and I had a phenomenal group of close friends. That's probably more of a fact than a memory--but so many memories from my teenage years are tied to that school and those friends.
5. In my high school biology class, we had to dissect fetal pigs. I remember having to crack open my little baby pig's mouth and break his jaw. This experiment also inspired my first step toward vegetarianism. I would go to the lunchroom after class and see the ham that they were serving, and all I could smell was formaldehyde. No pork products for me after that.
6. I had four wrecks between the ages of 16 and 18. The worst was the last one--a head-on collision that completely totaled my Ford Escort. I had just met a friend at Big River Grille for dinner, and since I wasn't too hungry, I ordered the soft pretzel appetizer as my meal. After the crash, I remember thinking, "Man, that really would have sucked if my last meal on earth had been a couple of pretzels."
7. For one of my birthday parties, we rented out the clubhouse at my dad's apartments and had a big bash. We actually got the cops called on us, because we were having a particularly heated game of "testosterone vs. estrogen" volleyball. Not sure why, but our group of friends did a lot of group activities like that--"testosterone vs. estrogen". Probably because we were dorks.
8. Destin was a very popular vacation destination for Baylor-ites. One one trip (not sure if it was sophomore or senior year), a few of us were really stupid with the sunscreen. Two of my friends positively fried the tops of their feet and could barely wear shoes, and I managed to put sunscreen on my stomach and back, but missed my sides. For almost 4 years, the skin on my sides was darker than the skin on my front and back. It looked like I had a skin disease.
9. My freshman year at Vandy, three of my friends and I drove down to Sewanee for Fall Party Weekend. I realized what a crazy weekend it would be as soon as we walked into the ATO house and saw a parent--not a student-- hanging from the rafters. Lots of other memories from that weekend, but I'll keep those to myself.
10. I got my first tattoo when I was 18, at TJ's Tattoos in Chattanooga. It didn't hurt as much as I expected it to--I equated it to an extended bee sting. My parents had no clue, and I tried to keep it hidden. I succeeded until my mom walked into the bathroom one day when I wasn't completely dressed and spotted it. She said, "You realize that's permanent, right?" And I said, "Yes." And that was that. It went much better than I anticipated.
As I am going back and reading these, I am thinking that I need to go through some of my old albums and see if I can't find some pictures to accompany these memories...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thirty-two
I get older on Sunday. I always like saying it that way--as if I'm actually aging an entire year in just one day. It's Saturday, and I'm just 31, and then kabloom! Sunday, I'm 32.
In conjunction with the occasion, I thought I might challenge myself to a little exercise on my blog. Today, I will post ten memories from the first decade of my life, tomorrow, ten from the next decade, and so on. I'll won't think too long and hard on what memories I will share, I'll just list whatever pops into my head...which could be funny, dangerous, or incredibly boring. Let's just start and see what happens...
1. I recall getting my first puppy. I was so freakin' excited, and I remember sitting out by the carport with my dad, trying to think of a name for the bouncy little white ball of fluff. Of course, my ideas all sounded like "Benji" or "Lassie" (I was not the most creative person at the age of four), but we finally settled on Misty. The first thing I taught Misty was to jump up on me whenever I slapped my palms against my thighs. Ironically, now it seems like all I ever do is try to get my dogs not to jump up on me...or on every single person who walks through the front door.
2. From the time that I was two until I was almost five, we lived in a house on Timberlane Trail. I loved the name of the street--it had such a nice ring to it. It also had the same initials that I did.
3. My sister was born when I was four years old. I don't think I really minded sharing my parents with someone else. For the longest time, my parents didn't think that my sister would ever talk, though, because I always did the talking for her.
4. My intestinal issues manifested themselves when I was very young. I remember spending a lot of time in the bathroom with either my mom or my grandmother, just trying to do my duty. Yes, I said "duty." And I totally meant to.
5. I was an avid reader. One time, my Kindergarten teacher had to run to the school office, so she left me in charge and gave me a book to read to the class. I was doing pretty well until I got stumped on the word "engineer," and being the stickler that I was for details, I couldn't just skip the word and move on. So I sat there, stuck. It was mortifying. Especially considering that my dad was a mechanical engineer.
6. I felt slightly redeemed from that experience when I became the school spelling bee champ in 2nd grade.
7. One day while I was watching TV (most likely Laverne & Shirley) and eating an apple, I almost choked on apple peel. When my mom realized that I couldn't breathe, she grabbed me by my ankles, turned me upside down, and shook me until it fell out. I've been very cautious when eating apples since then.
8. I had my first official boyfriend in 2nd grade. His name was Craig, and he was a twin. He was also my first kiss (if you count a quick peck on the lips that happened behind the water fountain on the playground). We actually had to try it twice, because the first time, we moved so quickly that we missed each other. That's what happens when you close your eyes way too early.
9. I loved the Little House on the Prairie book series. I really wanted to be Laura Ingalls and live in her dugout house (from On the Banks of Plum Creek).
10. I experienced my first wreck at my grandmother's house. I was riding down the driveway on a push scooter, and when I hit the part where the driveway met the street, I flipped, went flying over the handlebars, and landed face first on the street. I knocked out a tooth and ended up with a bloody forehead, nose, and chin. I don't think I ever scared my grandmother so much as when I walked through the door with my bloody face.
A random list? Yes. Such is my life. And my thought processes.
For tomorrow: ten from ages 10-20
In conjunction with the occasion, I thought I might challenge myself to a little exercise on my blog. Today, I will post ten memories from the first decade of my life, tomorrow, ten from the next decade, and so on. I'll won't think too long and hard on what memories I will share, I'll just list whatever pops into my head...which could be funny, dangerous, or incredibly boring. Let's just start and see what happens...
1. I recall getting my first puppy. I was so freakin' excited, and I remember sitting out by the carport with my dad, trying to think of a name for the bouncy little white ball of fluff. Of course, my ideas all sounded like "Benji" or "Lassie" (I was not the most creative person at the age of four), but we finally settled on Misty. The first thing I taught Misty was to jump up on me whenever I slapped my palms against my thighs. Ironically, now it seems like all I ever do is try to get my dogs not to jump up on me...or on every single person who walks through the front door.
2. From the time that I was two until I was almost five, we lived in a house on Timberlane Trail. I loved the name of the street--it had such a nice ring to it. It also had the same initials that I did.
3. My sister was born when I was four years old. I don't think I really minded sharing my parents with someone else. For the longest time, my parents didn't think that my sister would ever talk, though, because I always did the talking for her.
4. My intestinal issues manifested themselves when I was very young. I remember spending a lot of time in the bathroom with either my mom or my grandmother, just trying to do my duty. Yes, I said "duty." And I totally meant to.
5. I was an avid reader. One time, my Kindergarten teacher had to run to the school office, so she left me in charge and gave me a book to read to the class. I was doing pretty well until I got stumped on the word "engineer," and being the stickler that I was for details, I couldn't just skip the word and move on. So I sat there, stuck. It was mortifying. Especially considering that my dad was a mechanical engineer.
6. I felt slightly redeemed from that experience when I became the school spelling bee champ in 2nd grade.
7. One day while I was watching TV (most likely Laverne & Shirley) and eating an apple, I almost choked on apple peel. When my mom realized that I couldn't breathe, she grabbed me by my ankles, turned me upside down, and shook me until it fell out. I've been very cautious when eating apples since then.
8. I had my first official boyfriend in 2nd grade. His name was Craig, and he was a twin. He was also my first kiss (if you count a quick peck on the lips that happened behind the water fountain on the playground). We actually had to try it twice, because the first time, we moved so quickly that we missed each other. That's what happens when you close your eyes way too early.
9. I loved the Little House on the Prairie book series. I really wanted to be Laura Ingalls and live in her dugout house (from On the Banks of Plum Creek).
10. I experienced my first wreck at my grandmother's house. I was riding down the driveway on a push scooter, and when I hit the part where the driveway met the street, I flipped, went flying over the handlebars, and landed face first on the street. I knocked out a tooth and ended up with a bloody forehead, nose, and chin. I don't think I ever scared my grandmother so much as when I walked through the door with my bloody face.
A random list? Yes. Such is my life. And my thought processes.
For tomorrow: ten from ages 10-20
Friday, February 13, 2009
my hairy valentine
Considering the state of the economy, I'm guessing that many people are trying to figure out how they can show their love to their significant others on Valentine's Day, without spending $100 on dinner or $50 on roses, etc., etc.
So, what's my suggestion?
Ummm...get creative?
(Just in case you don't know my husband and you aren't very good at spotting obvious photoshop jobs--this is not actually Todd. Todd is much less hairy from the neck up, and much more hairy from the neck down.)
Happy V-Day everyone...and honey, I love your guts.
So, what's my suggestion?
Ummm...get creative?
(Just in case you don't know my husband and you aren't very good at spotting obvious photoshop jobs--this is not actually Todd. Todd is much less hairy from the neck up, and much more hairy from the neck down.)
Happy V-Day everyone...and honey, I love your guts.
Monday, February 09, 2009
2009 continues its malevolent march
Today marked the passing of my aunt, Mrs. Barbara Posey. I wish that I could say that she lived a long and healthy life, but she was only 66 years old, and she spent the last 6 years dealing with dimentia and other after-effects of multiple strokes. She will be sorely missed, although in the midst of the sadness, there is thankfulness that she is no longer suffering.
I don't know why, but when I remember her, I always think of her laughing. I think that she laughed a lot when the whole family got together. Her family was her world.
During these last few years, when her mind wasn't working well, she would often call my mom and have the same conversation, every time. She wanted to go to Hawaii. She was terrified of flying, but she didn't care. She wanted to go to Hawaii, and she wanted to take mom with her.
So, Aunt Barbara, for you, I hope that heaven looks a whole lot like Hawaii.
Much love to you, and may you rest in peace.
I don't know why, but when I remember her, I always think of her laughing. I think that she laughed a lot when the whole family got together. Her family was her world.
During these last few years, when her mind wasn't working well, she would often call my mom and have the same conversation, every time. She wanted to go to Hawaii. She was terrified of flying, but she didn't care. She wanted to go to Hawaii, and she wanted to take mom with her.
So, Aunt Barbara, for you, I hope that heaven looks a whole lot like Hawaii.
Much love to you, and may you rest in peace.
Monday, February 02, 2009
A letter to 2009
Dear 2009,
I think we have started off on the wrong foot. Let's just say that if January was your way of introducing yourself, then you seriously need to work on making a better entrance. Perhaps you should swing by Borders and pick up a book on how to win friends and influence people, because frankly, your first impression stinks.
I realize that we have only known each other for a month now, so I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, and I hope that we can work this out and become friends. But let me be honest and say that, based on my feelings right now, I'd rather just go ahead and trade you in for 2010 and pretend that you never existed.
So, howzabout you lighten up a little bit, stop coming on so strong with all of the negativity, and let's see where this can go. I'm trying to be hopeful, so don't ruin it with February. Please.
Thanks,
TT
I think we have started off on the wrong foot. Let's just say that if January was your way of introducing yourself, then you seriously need to work on making a better entrance. Perhaps you should swing by Borders and pick up a book on how to win friends and influence people, because frankly, your first impression stinks.
I realize that we have only known each other for a month now, so I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, and I hope that we can work this out and become friends. But let me be honest and say that, based on my feelings right now, I'd rather just go ahead and trade you in for 2010 and pretend that you never existed.
So, howzabout you lighten up a little bit, stop coming on so strong with all of the negativity, and let's see where this can go. I'm trying to be hopeful, so don't ruin it with February. Please.
Thanks,
TT
Friday, January 30, 2009
How to Age Four Years in One Day
I was asked by a former colleague of mine at another independent school to visit her Print Journalism class today as a guest lecturer. I was pretty excited about it, because I thoroughly enjoyed my one shining year as a Latin teacher, and I had not been in a classroom since then. One of the fun things about being a teacher is that you become a student, too, as you are constantly studying and preparing for your lessons and trying to find new information that you can share. I felt like I was back in my element last night as I was reading articles with my highlighter poised over the pages, rehearsing in my head some of the points that I wanted to cover in my presentation.
So as students were wandering into the class today, I noticed a familiar face, and my colleague asked me, "Do you remember Reed?" Oh my goodness--it was one of my former Latin students. How exciting! So I responded, "Of course, yes! Reed, how are you? What year are you now?" And, about the same time that I noticed he was about 3 feet taller than I remembered him, he said, "I'm a senior."
Um, okay...when I taught him in Latin I, he was in 8TH GRADE. And I promise that could not have been 4 years ago. Really, it couldn't be. Could it? He was just in junior high, and now he's headed off to college? It doesn't seem right.
This is why I do not have children--CHILDREN MAKE YOU AGE MORE QUICKLY. I swear it's true.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go drink some Geritol and take a nap...
So as students were wandering into the class today, I noticed a familiar face, and my colleague asked me, "Do you remember Reed?" Oh my goodness--it was one of my former Latin students. How exciting! So I responded, "Of course, yes! Reed, how are you? What year are you now?" And, about the same time that I noticed he was about 3 feet taller than I remembered him, he said, "I'm a senior."
Um, okay...when I taught him in Latin I, he was in 8TH GRADE. And I promise that could not have been 4 years ago. Really, it couldn't be. Could it? He was just in junior high, and now he's headed off to college? It doesn't seem right.
This is why I do not have children--CHILDREN MAKE YOU AGE MORE QUICKLY. I swear it's true.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go drink some Geritol and take a nap...
Friday, January 23, 2009
January 19-23
I am still processing this past week.
Usually, a week comes and goes without much thought. There's a routine that happens: work, home, friends, tv, sleep, eat, etc. Nothing too complicated. But last week was different.
Politically, it was an incredible week. Obama was officially sworn in as our president, and he hit the ground running, proving in his first few days of office that he meant business. Then, Nashville demonstrated our welcoming and progressive spirit by voting against the English-only proposition and letting Mr. Crafton know that if he wants his way, he'll just have to move to a small town somewhere in Mississippi to get it.
But outside of the political realm, last week felt anything but victorious. Things happened that shook my soul, and I feel like my perspective has been permanently altered. I still don't know that I have the words to explain exactly what shift has occurred, I just feel it. There is sadness--lots of sadness--concern, confusion, fear, disappointment, hurt, and helplessness.
Helplessness is the hardest. I know that, in some circumstances, all you can do is just "be there" for people. But just being there is hard for me. I want to do. I want to fix. I want to heal. I want to make better. But sometimes better is not mine to make. So I just have to be.
And so I'm here. And I hope. And I think. And I pray. I pray, pray, pray. For the best.
Or, at least, for better.
Usually, a week comes and goes without much thought. There's a routine that happens: work, home, friends, tv, sleep, eat, etc. Nothing too complicated. But last week was different.
Politically, it was an incredible week. Obama was officially sworn in as our president, and he hit the ground running, proving in his first few days of office that he meant business. Then, Nashville demonstrated our welcoming and progressive spirit by voting against the English-only proposition and letting Mr. Crafton know that if he wants his way, he'll just have to move to a small town somewhere in Mississippi to get it.
But outside of the political realm, last week felt anything but victorious. Things happened that shook my soul, and I feel like my perspective has been permanently altered. I still don't know that I have the words to explain exactly what shift has occurred, I just feel it. There is sadness--lots of sadness--concern, confusion, fear, disappointment, hurt, and helplessness.
Helplessness is the hardest. I know that, in some circumstances, all you can do is just "be there" for people. But just being there is hard for me. I want to do. I want to fix. I want to heal. I want to make better. But sometimes better is not mine to make. So I just have to be.
And so I'm here. And I hope. And I think. And I pray. I pray, pray, pray. For the best.
Or, at least, for better.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
1.20.09
Contents of the day so far: a few tears, lots of goosebumps, applause, and a swell of hope and pride for my country.
Text of Obama's inaugural address.
Those words are better than any words I could share today.
Text of Obama's inaugural address.
Those words are better than any words I could share today.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
report card
Since it is January 1st once again, I thought it would be a good time to check in on those New Year's resolutions from last year and see how well I did. Most of the time, by December 31st, I can't even remember what my new year's resolutions were (half of them are forgotten by June), but fortunately, a blog is a good record-keeping device, so I went back to January 2008 and found my original list.
My New Year's resolutions for 2008 were:
a) To live a lower-carb lifestyle
b) To read more
c) To do better on saving money (and specifically, to pay off my school loans--finally!)
e) To get back involved with a church (I was quite a slacker on church attendance in 2007)
f) To exercise at least 3-4 times a week
g) To do one new service project every month
Now, for the grading:
a) Lower carb lifestyle--This lasted until, oh, February, when I started training for the half-marathon and realized that carbs were my friends, not my enemies. 2008 was filled with much bread, pasta, potatoes, and so many other foods that make life delicious--so I'll have to give myself an F on this one. But, oh, what a sweet F it is. I think I'll take that F, dip it in chocolate and eat it. For breakfast.
b) Read more--Does Domino magazine count? I don't know that I actually read more in 2008...I probably read about the same amount as I did in 2007. But I did buy a whole lot of books on Amazon that are sitting there just waiting to be read, so this one can carry over to 2009. I'll be kind and give myself a D.
c) Saving money--I actually did add to my savings this year, although that is quickly dwindling with the whole selling-and-buying-a-new-house project. However, I did pay off all of my school loans, which is a HUGE accomplishment (that I have been working on for the past 9 years), so I'm gonna give myself an A on this one. And a big fat WOO-HOO!
e) Churchgoing--I'm a heathen. Why is it so hard to get up and get dressed at a decent hour on Sunday morning? I was a part of a women's bible study for most of the year, and I have done my own devotionals, but I was just about as bad as a C&E Christian as far as churchgoing went. I'll have to give myself a very guilty D- on this one. Thank goodness God doesn't grade like I do.
f) Exercising--Although I didn't always make it 3-4 times a week, I think I did pretty well on this one. Between training for the half-marathon and leading a boot camp, I think I exercised my little fanny off. Well, not completely, but at least it didn't get any bigger, and that's good enough for me. A-.
g) Service projects--I actually stuck with this one pretty well, even during the busy times...until November and December hit. I cooked lunch for the homeless, bowled with the United Cerebral Palsy group, made care packages for people living with AIDS, helped build a house with Habitat, volunteered with the Light the Night Walk, and quite a few other things. As I suspected, this turned out to be my favorite resolution to keep, and I highly recommend it for others. Since I missed November and December, I'll have to take a couple of points off, so we'll go with a B+. And I think this one will be a carry-over for 2009.
All in all, not too shabby, especially when compared to my success at keeping resolutions in the past.So now, I just have to come up with the list for 2009. Any suggestions?
My New Year's resolutions for 2008 were:
a) To live a lower-carb lifestyle
b) To read more
c) To do better on saving money (and specifically, to pay off my school loans--finally!)
e) To get back involved with a church (I was quite a slacker on church attendance in 2007)
f) To exercise at least 3-4 times a week
g) To do one new service project every month
Now, for the grading:
a) Lower carb lifestyle--This lasted until, oh, February, when I started training for the half-marathon and realized that carbs were my friends, not my enemies. 2008 was filled with much bread, pasta, potatoes, and so many other foods that make life delicious--so I'll have to give myself an F on this one. But, oh, what a sweet F it is. I think I'll take that F, dip it in chocolate and eat it. For breakfast.
b) Read more--Does Domino magazine count? I don't know that I actually read more in 2008...I probably read about the same amount as I did in 2007. But I did buy a whole lot of books on Amazon that are sitting there just waiting to be read, so this one can carry over to 2009. I'll be kind and give myself a D.
c) Saving money--I actually did add to my savings this year, although that is quickly dwindling with the whole selling-and-buying-a-new-house project. However, I did pay off all of my school loans, which is a HUGE accomplishment (that I have been working on for the past 9 years), so I'm gonna give myself an A on this one. And a big fat WOO-HOO!
e) Churchgoing--I'm a heathen. Why is it so hard to get up and get dressed at a decent hour on Sunday morning? I was a part of a women's bible study for most of the year, and I have done my own devotionals, but I was just about as bad as a C&E Christian as far as churchgoing went. I'll have to give myself a very guilty D- on this one. Thank goodness God doesn't grade like I do.
f) Exercising--Although I didn't always make it 3-4 times a week, I think I did pretty well on this one. Between training for the half-marathon and leading a boot camp, I think I exercised my little fanny off. Well, not completely, but at least it didn't get any bigger, and that's good enough for me. A-.
g) Service projects--I actually stuck with this one pretty well, even during the busy times...until November and December hit. I cooked lunch for the homeless, bowled with the United Cerebral Palsy group, made care packages for people living with AIDS, helped build a house with Habitat, volunteered with the Light the Night Walk, and quite a few other things. As I suspected, this turned out to be my favorite resolution to keep, and I highly recommend it for others. Since I missed November and December, I'll have to take a couple of points off, so we'll go with a B+. And I think this one will be a carry-over for 2009.
All in all, not too shabby, especially when compared to my success at keeping resolutions in the past.So now, I just have to come up with the list for 2009. Any suggestions?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
if i twittered
my current update would be:
sitting in the kitchen in my pajamas; contemplating going to sip to get a latte; listening to the cbs sunday morning program play in the other room; getting psyched up to fight the crowds at opry mills; watching my crazy-ass dog try to jump the 8-foot section of the fence so he can catch a squirrel; wondering why my face is breaking out; thinking about eating another blonde brownie for breakfast.
sitting in the kitchen in my pajamas; contemplating going to sip to get a latte; listening to the cbs sunday morning program play in the other room; getting psyched up to fight the crowds at opry mills; watching my crazy-ass dog try to jump the 8-foot section of the fence so he can catch a squirrel; wondering why my face is breaking out; thinking about eating another blonde brownie for breakfast.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
secret santa
Every year around this time, we do the Secret Santa thing at work. Everyone on staff draws a name, and then the last week of school is Secret Santa week. You're not supposed to spend more than $10-$15, and you can choose to give little gifts throughout the week with a bigger gift on Friday, or you can save up and give a nice gift at the end of the week.
I like to think that I am a good Secret Santa. I try to give thoughtful gifts that I think the person will enjoy. So far, I've baked cookies for my guy, and I gave him a pocket-sized moleskine-type notebook he can carry with him for when inspiration strikes (he's an English teacher--writer--theater guy). Heck, I even wrote poems to go with my gifts. Not necessarily good poems, mind you, but just a little something fun that he could laugh at. And mock. And use in his class as examples of how not to write poetry.
So, of course, I was excited to see what I would get this week from my Secret Santa.
On Tuesday, I get to work, and I find this in my chair:
Yep, it's a snake. A snake you put it water and it grows to 600% its size. Oh, but you have to leave it in water for 96 hours for it to get that big. Right. I can see it now..."Um, I'm sorry, honey, you can't take a bath for FOUR DAYS, because I'm trying to grow a snake in there." My favorite part, though, is the warning on the front in large letters: DO NOT SWALLOW! Come on...when you get a 12-inch long snake, isn't that the first instinct you have, to try to swallow it? I'm not even going to touch the double entendres there, either--you can do that yourself.
Then Wednesday arrives, and when I check my box in the teacher's lounge, I find:
A tarantula and a blood-shot eyeball! And they're gummy! And when you throw them against a wall, they stick and leave a trail of slime! Yippee!
Ok, so I'm beginning to think that:
a) My Secret Santa doesn't like me very much
b) My Secret Santa is a science teacher with an odd sense of humor
c) My Secret Santa thinks that I am actually a 12-year-old boy
or
d) My Secret Santa doesn't like me very much
Sigh. I'm almost afraid to see what my big gift on Friday is going to be...
I like to think that I am a good Secret Santa. I try to give thoughtful gifts that I think the person will enjoy. So far, I've baked cookies for my guy, and I gave him a pocket-sized moleskine-type notebook he can carry with him for when inspiration strikes (he's an English teacher--writer--theater guy). Heck, I even wrote poems to go with my gifts. Not necessarily good poems, mind you, but just a little something fun that he could laugh at. And mock. And use in his class as examples of how not to write poetry.
So, of course, I was excited to see what I would get this week from my Secret Santa.
On Tuesday, I get to work, and I find this in my chair:
Yep, it's a snake. A snake you put it water and it grows to 600% its size. Oh, but you have to leave it in water for 96 hours for it to get that big. Right. I can see it now..."Um, I'm sorry, honey, you can't take a bath for FOUR DAYS, because I'm trying to grow a snake in there." My favorite part, though, is the warning on the front in large letters: DO NOT SWALLOW! Come on...when you get a 12-inch long snake, isn't that the first instinct you have, to try to swallow it? I'm not even going to touch the double entendres there, either--you can do that yourself.
Then Wednesday arrives, and when I check my box in the teacher's lounge, I find:
A tarantula and a blood-shot eyeball! And they're gummy! And when you throw them against a wall, they stick and leave a trail of slime! Yippee!
Ok, so I'm beginning to think that:
a) My Secret Santa doesn't like me very much
b) My Secret Santa is a science teacher with an odd sense of humor
c) My Secret Santa thinks that I am actually a 12-year-old boy
or
d) My Secret Santa doesn't like me very much
Sigh. I'm almost afraid to see what my big gift on Friday is going to be...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
ick
It usually happens twice a year. Once in March, and then again around November.
As the earth spins on its axis, and the seasons turn from cold to warm or warm to cold, my body responds by producing an abnormal amount of mucus. My eyes burn and water, my face swells, and my sinuses alternate between being completely clogged up and flowing like a river. Think Niagara Falls, except really gross. (Come on, with a title like "ick," you should have known this wasn't going to be pretty). The worst parts, though, are the raw, sore throat and the upset stomach that result from the drainage. Fun stuff.
Sometimes, the sinus infection only lasts a few days, but then other times it perseveres for weeks, and the pharmacists at Walgreens begin to eye me accusingly, suspecting that my excessive purchases of suphedrin could signal that they've got a meth addict on their hands. Every now and then, though, something glorious happens--the leaves change, the weather turns cold, and...nothing. Nary a drip. It's like my sinuses weren't paying attention and totally missed their cue to wreak havoc on my body.
So when it hit me that Christmas was quickly approaching, and I hadn't even used a single dose of Claritin, I thought that it might be one of those wonderfully lucky times when the terrible, horrible, no good Sinus Monster was going to lie dormant, at least until spring.
And then, I ran a 5k in 27-degree weather.
If anyone needs me, I'll be at Walgreens. Ick.
As the earth spins on its axis, and the seasons turn from cold to warm or warm to cold, my body responds by producing an abnormal amount of mucus. My eyes burn and water, my face swells, and my sinuses alternate between being completely clogged up and flowing like a river. Think Niagara Falls, except really gross. (Come on, with a title like "ick," you should have known this wasn't going to be pretty). The worst parts, though, are the raw, sore throat and the upset stomach that result from the drainage. Fun stuff.
Sometimes, the sinus infection only lasts a few days, but then other times it perseveres for weeks, and the pharmacists at Walgreens begin to eye me accusingly, suspecting that my excessive purchases of suphedrin could signal that they've got a meth addict on their hands. Every now and then, though, something glorious happens--the leaves change, the weather turns cold, and...nothing. Nary a drip. It's like my sinuses weren't paying attention and totally missed their cue to wreak havoc on my body.
So when it hit me that Christmas was quickly approaching, and I hadn't even used a single dose of Claritin, I thought that it might be one of those wonderfully lucky times when the terrible, horrible, no good Sinus Monster was going to lie dormant, at least until spring.
And then, I ran a 5k in 27-degree weather.
If anyone needs me, I'll be at Walgreens. Ick.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
second installment
or, "Holiday seasonal things I could do without."
1. Stations that play all Christmas music, all the time. I like "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" as much as the next guy, but I could do without hearing it 1,372 times in one day.
2. Holiday sale commercials that play over and over and over... You know what I'm talking about--it's that Sears/JC Penney/etc. ad that comes on EVERY SINGLE TIME the show you are watching goes to commercial...sometimes even twice in one break. It's maddening, and it is the one thing that might actually cause me to break down and get TiVo.
3. Chia-everything. Where do these things go the rest of the year? You almost never hear anything about Chia until it's time for the holidays, and then they are all over the place. Chia-donkeys, Chia-alligators, Chia-dinosaurs. Does anyone actually collect these things, or do they just get recycled as Dirty Santa gifts from year to year? Although, did you know that they released a limited-edition Chia-Mr. T head in 2000? I totally want that. Added bonus: Chia also has that completely annoying jingle that gets stuck in your head...you're thinking it now, aren't you? Ch...ch...ch...chia!
4. Malls. I am avoiding them this year. I really hate malls around the holidays...the parking nightmares, the crowds, the rude, stressed-out people, the insanely messy piles of clothes (that you know were nicely folded when the store opened, but end up looking like someone ran and jumped in them like a kid in a big pile of leaves), the idiots who jump line in front of me when I'm just trying to get a soft pretzel...the list could go on and on. It is insanity, and it doesn't surprise me to see news stories this time of year about someone who looses it and beats a fellow shopper over the head with the latest Tickle-Me/Dance-With-Me/Do-Whatever-You-Want-to-Me version of Elmo.
5. Shopping for holiday presents in general. Don't get me wrong--I love the act of giving. I get high off of the feeling of finding that absolutely perfect gift for someone that you know he/she will love. I just don't like the pressure of trying to do that for everyone I know, all at the same time. And yes, I realize that I could start in January and collect things throughout the year as I find them, but I just don't work that way. If I find something absolutely fabulous for someone that I am so excited to give them, I can only hold off for a week, tops, before I break down and just give it to them early. I've ruined a lot of Todd's birthdays/holidays this way, because I. JUST. CAN'T. WAIT. So, he might get his Christmas gift on Dec. 25th, or he might get it on Dec. 17th. It just happens.
Those are just a few things off the top of my head--anyone have something to add to the list?
1. Stations that play all Christmas music, all the time. I like "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" as much as the next guy, but I could do without hearing it 1,372 times in one day.
2. Holiday sale commercials that play over and over and over... You know what I'm talking about--it's that Sears/JC Penney/etc. ad that comes on EVERY SINGLE TIME the show you are watching goes to commercial...sometimes even twice in one break. It's maddening, and it is the one thing that might actually cause me to break down and get TiVo.
3. Chia-everything. Where do these things go the rest of the year? You almost never hear anything about Chia until it's time for the holidays, and then they are all over the place. Chia-donkeys, Chia-alligators, Chia-dinosaurs. Does anyone actually collect these things, or do they just get recycled as Dirty Santa gifts from year to year? Although, did you know that they released a limited-edition Chia-Mr. T head in 2000? I totally want that. Added bonus: Chia also has that completely annoying jingle that gets stuck in your head...you're thinking it now, aren't you? Ch...ch...ch...chia!
4. Malls. I am avoiding them this year. I really hate malls around the holidays...the parking nightmares, the crowds, the rude, stressed-out people, the insanely messy piles of clothes (that you know were nicely folded when the store opened, but end up looking like someone ran and jumped in them like a kid in a big pile of leaves), the idiots who jump line in front of me when I'm just trying to get a soft pretzel...the list could go on and on. It is insanity, and it doesn't surprise me to see news stories this time of year about someone who looses it and beats a fellow shopper over the head with the latest Tickle-Me/Dance-With-Me/Do-Whatever-You-Want-to-Me version of Elmo.
5. Shopping for holiday presents in general. Don't get me wrong--I love the act of giving. I get high off of the feeling of finding that absolutely perfect gift for someone that you know he/she will love. I just don't like the pressure of trying to do that for everyone I know, all at the same time. And yes, I realize that I could start in January and collect things throughout the year as I find them, but I just don't work that way. If I find something absolutely fabulous for someone that I am so excited to give them, I can only hold off for a week, tops, before I break down and just give it to them early. I've ruined a lot of Todd's birthdays/holidays this way, because I. JUST. CAN'T. WAIT. So, he might get his Christmas gift on Dec. 25th, or he might get it on Dec. 17th. It just happens.
Those are just a few things off the top of my head--anyone have something to add to the list?
Friday, December 05, 2008
uncle
So, just in case you were wondering how my nieces took to their new uncle Todd...
...the phrase "attached at the hip" comes to mind.
I knew he was a hit when, as we were getting ready to sit down for dinner, I asked Kaelyn if the seat next to her was for me. Her response-- "No, TT, that's for Todd. You can sit on the other side of him." The coolness of Uncle Todd surpassed the coolness of Aunt TT. And I would be a little upset about it, if it just wasn't so incredibly cute to watch him with them...
...the phrase "attached at the hip" comes to mind.
I knew he was a hit when, as we were getting ready to sit down for dinner, I asked Kaelyn if the seat next to her was for me. Her response-- "No, TT, that's for Todd. You can sit on the other side of him." The coolness of Uncle Todd surpassed the coolness of Aunt TT. And I would be a little upset about it, if it just wasn't so incredibly cute to watch him with them...
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
these are a few of my favorite things
Things that make me happy during the holiday season...
Gingerbread lattes:
Chocolate cherry bread from Provence:
Classic holiday cartoons like Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman--I love that they still show these on tv:
Spending time with Clark and the Griswold clan again:
Seeing Christmas lights on other people's houses (I'm not going to the time and hassle of doing it for my own house, but I enjoy seeing other people's creativity--and sometimes absurdity):
And, best of all, getting a full two weeks of vacation. Have I mentioned I L-O-V-E working in a school?
Next installment: holiday seasonal things I could do without.
Gingerbread lattes:
Chocolate cherry bread from Provence:
Classic holiday cartoons like Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman--I love that they still show these on tv:
Spending time with Clark and the Griswold clan again:
Seeing Christmas lights on other people's houses (I'm not going to the time and hassle of doing it for my own house, but I enjoy seeing other people's creativity--and sometimes absurdity):
And, best of all, getting a full two weeks of vacation. Have I mentioned I L-O-V-E working in a school?
Next installment: holiday seasonal things I could do without.
Monday, November 24, 2008
'tis the season
Things that I am thankful for:
* A close, caring family
* A loving husband
* Friends who make me laugh
* Friends who keep me honest
* A job that I enjoy
* A paycheck that sufficiently supports my lifestyle
* Two puppies that entertain me
* Good health
Ok, I hear you...it's a pretty freakin' generic list. Let's see if I can elaborate a tad:
I am thankful that, when I wake up in the morning, I can be excited about a new day. I am thankful that the first thing that greets me in the morning is love in the form of puppy kisses. I am thankful that I can meet friends for an invigorating workout that makes me feel healthy and strong. I am thankful that I don't dread going to work. I am thankful that I get free lunch at school...but that if I want to go out and eat, I can go just about anywhere I want without worrying about what it costs. I am thankful that I get to come home to three funny boys that keep life interesting. I am thankful that I can pay my bills every month. I am thankful that I have a house that feels like a home. I am thankful that I have my own Cheers, where I can always find a friend. I am thankful that my weekends are times of freedom, to be enjoyed as I please. I am thankful that I can travel. I am thankful that I get to spend this holiday with family--and that I know it will be a time of fun and not a time of stress. I am thankful for a mom who calls every week to check on me. I am thankful that I very rarely have bad news to share with her. I am thankful that--even if I do have bad times--I have a huge support system of friends and family to help me through them.
And, in writing this post, I am thankful that my mind is flooded with so many reasons to be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and all the best to you and yours.
* A close, caring family
* A loving husband
* Friends who make me laugh
* Friends who keep me honest
* A job that I enjoy
* A paycheck that sufficiently supports my lifestyle
* Two puppies that entertain me
* Good health
Ok, I hear you...it's a pretty freakin' generic list. Let's see if I can elaborate a tad:
I am thankful that, when I wake up in the morning, I can be excited about a new day. I am thankful that the first thing that greets me in the morning is love in the form of puppy kisses. I am thankful that I can meet friends for an invigorating workout that makes me feel healthy and strong. I am thankful that I don't dread going to work. I am thankful that I get free lunch at school...but that if I want to go out and eat, I can go just about anywhere I want without worrying about what it costs. I am thankful that I get to come home to three funny boys that keep life interesting. I am thankful that I can pay my bills every month. I am thankful that I have a house that feels like a home. I am thankful that I have my own Cheers, where I can always find a friend. I am thankful that my weekends are times of freedom, to be enjoyed as I please. I am thankful that I can travel. I am thankful that I get to spend this holiday with family--and that I know it will be a time of fun and not a time of stress. I am thankful for a mom who calls every week to check on me. I am thankful that I very rarely have bad news to share with her. I am thankful that--even if I do have bad times--I have a huge support system of friends and family to help me through them.
And, in writing this post, I am thankful that my mind is flooded with so many reasons to be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and all the best to you and yours.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
4 years
In four years, you can...
volunteer at a community garden...
learn to hip-hop dance...
become an old pro at the competitive games at the Annual BBBS Picnic...
get up enough courage to try all of the crazy slides at Nashville Shores......and so, so much more. In four years, you can watch a small, shy nine-year-old grow into a beautiful, confident teenager. And in four years, you can discover that the nine-year-old, and now the teenager, has taught you a lot about yourself.
Here's to four years, miss Nema, and to all of the years--and adventures--that lie ahead...
Thursday, November 13, 2008
since we're on the subject of doctors
My guess is that most people my age, particularly those who are male or who don't have children, don't visit the doctor very often. If we do, it is usually a specialist--like an optometrist, gynecologist, psychiatrist, etc.-- and not a general practitioner. We don't see much need for a wellness exam, or the yearly physical, because we aren't at a point in life where we need a doctor's note before we can join the soccer team, or where we need a new prescription for the 17 different pills that are helping us live to see age 72. Even when we get sick, we are more likely to self-diagnose and fight it with OTC medicines, or in dire circumstances, seek out a doc-in-the-box minute clinic to get the extra strength drugs.
That's just my guess, because I was basically describing my own personal approach to sickness/wellness/doctors.
However, I'm trying to be more proactive in preserving my health, so I just made a follow-up appointment at Lifesigns. If you have thought about getting a physical, I recommend checking them out. They do the complete physical, including blood/urine analysis, an ultrasound of all of your major organs to check for cysts or abnormalities, a body fat and BMI test, and an EKG. They accept most insurance, so you can get the core battery of tests done for your normal doctor's visit co-pay.
It's not a bad deal--it's quick, easy, and painless--and since their specialty is wellness exams, you don't have to worry about sitting in a cramped lobby with a bunch of sick kids while waiting to see the doctor. Bonus!
That's just my guess, because I was basically describing my own personal approach to sickness/wellness/doctors.
However, I'm trying to be more proactive in preserving my health, so I just made a follow-up appointment at Lifesigns. If you have thought about getting a physical, I recommend checking them out. They do the complete physical, including blood/urine analysis, an ultrasound of all of your major organs to check for cysts or abnormalities, a body fat and BMI test, and an EKG. They accept most insurance, so you can get the core battery of tests done for your normal doctor's visit co-pay.
It's not a bad deal--it's quick, easy, and painless--and since their specialty is wellness exams, you don't have to worry about sitting in a cramped lobby with a bunch of sick kids while waiting to see the doctor. Bonus!
Friday, November 07, 2008
it's like a forwarded e-mail string...
...you need to scroll down and read the previous post for this one to make complete sense.
Exhibit B:
Earlier this week, I had an appointment with my dermatologist. When I arrived, I noticed a sign in the lobby that said “Don’t wait! Please let our front desk know if you have been waiting more than 15 minutes to check in.” I got checked in pretty quickly, so I grabbed a magazine to pass the time while waiting. There were just 4 other people in the waiting room with me, so it seemed to be a light day for appointments. Around 9am, one of the other girls waiting in the lobby approached the front desk.
Girl: Hi, I need to know if I’m going to be able to see the doctor soon.
Receptionist: What time was your appointment?
G: It was over 30 minutes ago. If I can’t see the doctor in the next 5 or 10 minutes, I’ll have to leave, because I have to get to a court date.
R: Well, there’s still 1 person ahead of you, so I just don’t know if that will happen.
G: Then I’m probably going to have to cancel and reschedule.
R: You don’t want the appointment anymore?
G: I have to get to my court date, and I need to be there by 9:30. I didn’t know it would take this long.
R: Well, the doctors usually run at least 30 minutes late.
G: The doctor called and said he needed to see me, and he specifically told me to make a morning appointment to ensure that I wouldn’t have to wait long.
R: Well, there were already four people ahead of you this morning.
G: Ok, but how long does it take to see each patient? I got the earliest available appointment.
R: I don’t know what to tell you. Either you wait or you don’t.
G: Well, at this point, if I can’t see him in 5 minutes, I probably won’t even reschedule.
R: I will check and see what I can do.
G: Ok, I’m going to go out in the hall and make a call to let them know I am running late.
So the girl walks out into the hallway to make her call, and while she is gone, I overhear the receptionist telling a co-worker about the situation.
R: ...and she’s saying that she needs to see him in the next 5 minutes, and I just want to tell her “Well, just leave then.” I mean, it’s no skin off my back…not my problem.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Even though the girl had been very calm and reasonable in the way that she spoke to the receptionist (much more so than I would have been), the receptionist was being incredibly rude and dismissive. Again, I came so close to walking up to the window and saying to her “Excuse me, but that was extremely tacky of you. Do you not realize that all of us sitting in the waiting room can hear you? You are being terribly rude and dismissive to one of your patients. You even have a sign that encourages people to speak up if they have been waiting! Your attitude may end up losing this practice more than one patient today.” But, instead of doing that, I just bit my tongue. I am surprised I don’t have a big, gaping hole in it by this point.
I had to laugh, though, when I finally got back in the exam room, and I noticed these comment cards that were available for giving feedback:
I guess they don’t really care to hear the bad stuff—just comments of praise, please.
So, even though I was just a bystander in this negative experience, I am thinking about finding a new dermatologist. It may be that I am becoming more like my father, because I don’t think the idea that “the doctors always run at least 30 minutes late” is acceptable. If that is happening, then I believe they need to re-evaluate their scheduling practices. My dad refuses to wait more than 15 minutes for an appointment. Once it hits the 15-minute mark, he will walk up to the receptionist and say, “I need you to reschedule my appointment. My time is just as valuable as the doctor’s. I was here on time, and I expect him to be on time as well. If he is consistently late, then I will find another doctor who respects his patients enough to make his appointments on time.” He has a point—most of us have to take time off from our jobs to see a doctor, since doctor’s office hours directly coincide with most business hours. Unfortunately, though, it seems that medicine is one of the few practices where it is apparently acceptable to run late consistently. I mean, if I ran 30 minutes late every time I went to meet a donor, I probably wouldn’t be raising much money at all!
Sigh. See what I mean? I’ve done pretty well so far about keeping my temper and not lashing out in these situations..but one of these days, that tongue is going to slip, and I think it could be sooner rather than later...
Exhibit B:
Earlier this week, I had an appointment with my dermatologist. When I arrived, I noticed a sign in the lobby that said “Don’t wait! Please let our front desk know if you have been waiting more than 15 minutes to check in.” I got checked in pretty quickly, so I grabbed a magazine to pass the time while waiting. There were just 4 other people in the waiting room with me, so it seemed to be a light day for appointments. Around 9am, one of the other girls waiting in the lobby approached the front desk.
Girl: Hi, I need to know if I’m going to be able to see the doctor soon.
Receptionist: What time was your appointment?
G: It was over 30 minutes ago. If I can’t see the doctor in the next 5 or 10 minutes, I’ll have to leave, because I have to get to a court date.
R: Well, there’s still 1 person ahead of you, so I just don’t know if that will happen.
G: Then I’m probably going to have to cancel and reschedule.
R: You don’t want the appointment anymore?
G: I have to get to my court date, and I need to be there by 9:30. I didn’t know it would take this long.
R: Well, the doctors usually run at least 30 minutes late.
G: The doctor called and said he needed to see me, and he specifically told me to make a morning appointment to ensure that I wouldn’t have to wait long.
R: Well, there were already four people ahead of you this morning.
G: Ok, but how long does it take to see each patient? I got the earliest available appointment.
R: I don’t know what to tell you. Either you wait or you don’t.
G: Well, at this point, if I can’t see him in 5 minutes, I probably won’t even reschedule.
R: I will check and see what I can do.
G: Ok, I’m going to go out in the hall and make a call to let them know I am running late.
So the girl walks out into the hallway to make her call, and while she is gone, I overhear the receptionist telling a co-worker about the situation.
R: ...and she’s saying that she needs to see him in the next 5 minutes, and I just want to tell her “Well, just leave then.” I mean, it’s no skin off my back…not my problem.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Even though the girl had been very calm and reasonable in the way that she spoke to the receptionist (much more so than I would have been), the receptionist was being incredibly rude and dismissive. Again, I came so close to walking up to the window and saying to her “Excuse me, but that was extremely tacky of you. Do you not realize that all of us sitting in the waiting room can hear you? You are being terribly rude and dismissive to one of your patients. You even have a sign that encourages people to speak up if they have been waiting! Your attitude may end up losing this practice more than one patient today.” But, instead of doing that, I just bit my tongue. I am surprised I don’t have a big, gaping hole in it by this point.
I had to laugh, though, when I finally got back in the exam room, and I noticed these comment cards that were available for giving feedback:
I guess they don’t really care to hear the bad stuff—just comments of praise, please.
So, even though I was just a bystander in this negative experience, I am thinking about finding a new dermatologist. It may be that I am becoming more like my father, because I don’t think the idea that “the doctors always run at least 30 minutes late” is acceptable. If that is happening, then I believe they need to re-evaluate their scheduling practices. My dad refuses to wait more than 15 minutes for an appointment. Once it hits the 15-minute mark, he will walk up to the receptionist and say, “I need you to reschedule my appointment. My time is just as valuable as the doctor’s. I was here on time, and I expect him to be on time as well. If he is consistently late, then I will find another doctor who respects his patients enough to make his appointments on time.” He has a point—most of us have to take time off from our jobs to see a doctor, since doctor’s office hours directly coincide with most business hours. Unfortunately, though, it seems that medicine is one of the few practices where it is apparently acceptable to run late consistently. I mean, if I ran 30 minutes late every time I went to meet a donor, I probably wouldn’t be raising much money at all!
Sigh. See what I mean? I’ve done pretty well so far about keeping my temper and not lashing out in these situations..but one of these days, that tongue is going to slip, and I think it could be sooner rather than later...
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