sea change

Was it really November when I last posted? Goodness. I could probably be charged with blog-neglect. Well, it's a new year with new beginnings, so let's just start fresh, shall we?

For a while now, my dad has been encouraging me to read the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. I added it to the already long list of "Books other people have recommended to me," figuring that I would get to it eventually. Eventually finally arrived about a month ago, when I was on a Costco trip with a friend, and I noticed the book in a pile on one of the book tables. We both ended up buying a copy, and I finally cracked open the cover a couple of weeks ago and began reading.

And I was instantly addicted.

By "addicted", I don't mean that I found it to be an enthralling page-turner that I couldn't put down, or that I read it straight through in a matter of hours. Instead, I became addicted to the idea of the book--the philosophy that the book is based on. If you haven't heard about AVM yet, here's a synopsis: Kingsolver and her family (husband and two girls) move from Tuscon, Arizona to a farmhouse in Virginia. For one year, they vow that they will only eat food that they have grown or that has been produced locally, and the book is largely a memoir of their experience.

Now, I have always considered myself more of a city girl than a country girl, and I tend to cringe when people talk about buying land and moving out into the country. The idea of a house and land in the middle of nowhere has never been particularly appealing to me.

Until now.

After reading AVM, I want to live on a farm. I want to grow all of my own vegetables, bake my own bread, make my own cheeses. I want to know the people that are responsible for the food I eat. I want to be friends with a dairy farmer and meet the cows that are producing the milk I use. I basically want to fall off the grid of corporate food culture.

Off course, it is doubtful that Todd and I will be uprooting and moving to a farm anytime soon, but I can now see it as a possibility--even a desirable possibility--for the future. And in the meantime, I am going to plant a garden in the backyard this spring, buy more produce from the farmer's market, and stop relying on Kroger for the food I put into my body.

And I'm also going to start making my own cheese, beginning with mozzarella. I'll let you know how it goes...

counting

Sometimes, I feel so blessed that I think it must be illegal. Seriously, it sounds silly, but when I stop to think about what I am thankful for (as so many people are wont to do this time of year), I am stunned by how many good things I have in my life.

Family: My family is, simply put, amazing. My parents are loving, encouraging, and supportive...they always have been, and I know they always will be. I have close relationships with my siblings--I can truly call them my friends, and we thoroughly enjoy each other's company. I have two precious nieces who adore me (but not as much as I adore them, of course). I have a wonderful, thoughtful, loving husband. And while many people complain about their in-laws...I think mine are absolutely great.

Friends: I have beautiful friends. Not just in Nashville, but spread out across the country. I have friends who make me laugh, who let me cry, who encourage me, who bring me flowers for no reason, who show up at my house to help scrape paint, who keep me honest, who teach me new things, who love me. And I love them. And the thing I love most about my friends? So many of them are doers. They are givers. They truly strive to make the world around them a better place. My mom always told me to surround myself with balcony people, and when I look around at my friends, I realize that I have done exactly what she advised.

Work: Not only do I have a job, which in itself is enough to be thankful for...I have a great job. I have a job that others envy. I love my co-workers--they constantly make me laugh and keep me encouraged. I have a boss who values me and believes in me, which makes me feel empowered. I have ample vacation time and personal days, so that I can take time for myself when needed. And I feel rewarded when I hear the laughter of students ringing through the hallways, because I know that what I do helps make that possible.

Health: I just had my yearly physical and got an A+. But I am not only thankful for my own health, I am thankful that everyone in my family is in good health right now. My 90 year old grandmother had a bit of a scare over the summer, but she has recovered and is back in good spirits. All is well.

And the thing is, the list could go on and on. I don't need fingers to count my blessings, I need an abacus.

And I am so incredibly grateful. So deeply, humbly grateful. I have so much to celebrate--not just on Thanksgiving--but every day. I thank God for these blessings.

And I thank you, my family, friends, balcony people, for all of the joy you bring this life.

idealistic, more or less

For the past six or eight weeks, I've been in a bit of a funk. I've had this feeling that's been gnawing at my insides, and I haven't been able to identify it. I just knew that it wasn't a pleasant feeling, and it made me sad.

And then this morning, it hit me. The feeling I have been struggling with is disappointment. A general disappointment in people.

My disappointment isn't directed at any one person or person(s) in particular--I think it has been fueled by multiple events and experiences. I have been disappointed by people personally and professionally...and even by people I don't know, whose stories I have heard on the news or second-hand through other folks. And I guess part of the disappointment comes from the fact that I just don't understand--that I can't understand what motivates people to do the things they do or say the things they say or act the way they act.

I think sometimes this whole fallen world business gets to me, and I crave redemption. I wish for better. I wish for more. Specifically, I wish:

- that people would love more...and hate less
- that people would give more...and take less
- that people would forgive more...and be bitter less
- that people would think of others more...and of themselves less
- that people would encourage more...and complain less
- that people would smile more...and scowl less
- that people would help more...and be less selfish

But mostly, I wish that people would love more and hate less, because I think that would help solve a whole lot of problems.

I'm not trying to be Pollyanna, and I know that I myself need improvement in all of these areas (well, except maybe for smiling more...if I smiled any more, people might start thinking that I'm a clown). But I do think that if everyone chose to work on these things--or even just one of these things--it could make a significant difference...in our families, in our friendships, in our workplaces, and in our communities.

So why don't we?

UPDATE: Ironically, just a couple of hours after I posted this, I read that Oxford American Dictionary has chosen their 2009 Word of the Year. And the winner? "Unfriend." Again--sad. Especially since one of their considerations in the selection is that the word "reflects the ethos of the year." Sigh.

Why blog?

Lately, I've been wondering about my own motivations for blogging and pondering if I should continue. There are thousands, perhaps millions, of blogs out there, and each has its own reason for existing.

Some people blog because they've made a business of it. Some people blog to share interesting news or tips. Some blog because they love food. Some people blog to keep friends and family updated on their kids. Some people blog to express anger without having to talk to someone face-to-face. Some people blog to offer reviews of restaurants, books, etc. Some people blog to share their hobbies. Some people blog with pictures. Some blog just for fun.

So the question is: why do you blog?

And, out of curiosity, why do you read this blog?

Just some blog thinking on a Monday morning...

Halloween...or Christmas?

Honestly...don't these end-of-the-year holidays all just run together anyway?

This year, we channeled Yukon Cornelius and Hermey, the misfit elf who wants to be a dentist, from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer t.v. special. And the best part? I can totally wear my costume again at Christmas dinner. And don't think that I won't.

updates from the hole

Even though I've been living and working in my hole for the past couple of months, a few things of interest have happened (and no, mom, I'm not pregnant...sorry!)

* I celebrated one really fast year of marriage with Todd. It's amazing how much can happen in a year, and how quickly that year can happen. Really--it's mind-boggling. But in a good way.

* We got a couch! And a dining room table! The house is starting to feel less and less like a college dorm, which is a very positive thing. We no longer own a futon. I call that progress.

* In not-so-positive news, we have mice. Yes, after battling the fleas, and the termites, and the brown recluse spiders, instead of getting a respite, we get mice. I knew something was up when Tucker started acting really crazy (and yes, as his mom, I can tell the difference between his normal crazy and his something-is-actually-really-wrong crazy). And then I went to make a piece of toast the other day, and there was a mouse enjoying a snack inside the bread bag. Right--the mouse was still in the bread bag. That I was holding. I'm not sure which of us was more scared, but I know I definitely squealed the loudest.

* Todd was convinced that he wanted a yellow kitchen, so I spent one of my fall break days painting the kitchen yellow. It's definitely an improvement from the fluorescent lime green color, but now when I am cooking, I feel like I am standing in the middle of the sun. It is yellow. And now I think Todd is convinced that he doesn't want a yellow kitchen. Although it does go nicely with all of the cheese on the mouse-traps...

the hole

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

That would be the sound of me falling into a hole--the hole that I tend to fall into every year around this time. It's my fall hole. The school-is-back-in-session-and-everything-I-am-responsible-for-kicks-off-in-September-and-October-hole. The no-I-haven't-blogged-in-a-month-because-I'm-so-busy-that-I'm-just-trying-to-remember-to-breathe-hole. And, this year in particular it is also the Holy-crap-I-have-to-raise-a-million-dollars-and-the-economy-is-still-in-the-shitter-hole. That last one really does make me want to crawl in a hole and hide until May.

So, it will be relatively silent around these parts for the next couple of months, unless something just incredibly exciting and newsworthy happens. Like I find the winning lottery ticket at the bottom of the hole, or I somehow manage to get pregnant.

See you in November.